bye bye BSLC

finally pass out from BSLC.. 10 weeks, to be exact 67 days, are over in the blink of an eye.. the scene that we're gonna get separated seems touching.. some of us are going separate ways.. my bed buddy send me this,
67 days since the first day i met you all
67 days of my life with you
67 days of shit we went through
67 days of sweat and laughters
67th day has come and we might need to say goodbye
Memories of the 67 days will not be forgotten
Thanks for everything..
Take care whereve you go..
I was quite touched by his message even as I look back at all the things we'd done together.. 10 weeks is a short period..

today i'm super tired.. i haven slept at all since last night.. i'm officially out of BSLC, a corporal.. before we go for the passing out parade, we had to march 28km with our field packs and everything.. through the night from 8pm to 4am then go straight for parade still with our field packs on.. some of us almost fell asleep standing.. we didn't get to sleep at all cause after the parade we had to go back to our bunks to clear all our things.. i was reminded of our section again.. guess our bonds in sispec are stronger than in BMT.. the trainings we did together, the illegal things we did together, the good fire movement which made our sect com proud, the field camp we went through together, the battalion of ant bites on us at tp2, the fatigue, the nonsensical talk we had(though some came through).. though i know none of my bunk mates will read this but i just wanna say thanks for everything through the 10 weeks.. have fun in all your new vocations..

Falling

Find me in Your holiness
Lead me in Your righteousness
How I love You
Beautiful Savior
When I'm weak You make me strong
Bearing my cross I carry on
How I need You
Heavenly Father

Search my heart O Lord
You know my every thought
An open book to You
I place my all in Your hands

Falling at Your feet
As my whole world fades away
Falling at Your feet
Let my life be wholly thine
My life be wholly thine, Jesus

Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father, never let me go

this is such a great song..

Spiritual Concentration

went service yday cause today cannot make it.. it was a tremendous one.. it's like God speaking to me from point to point during the service.. a renewal of my spirit, soul, mind..
1) A question of Treasure
2) A question of Vision
3) A question of Devotion - what am i devoted to?
4) A question of Ambition
Worry means to let a tormenting thought strangle you..
i realise sometimes i seem to worry alot.. why worry? since every obstacle that comes our way requires divine permission from God..
anyway, army life hasnt been very tough, just that it's hard to pray and do daily devotion.. i admit that my devotion has not been strong.. i felt a sense of lost sometimes.. i think that i'm getting a little easily agitated by things.. sometimes i think of myself more than others.. when Pastor preaches, God just spoke to me.. i had vivid flashbacks in my mind at that time.. i know i'm slowly drawing away but thank God for my faith that draws me back.. through this period, i'm weak spiritually and Matthew6:33 keeps coming to my mind.. i know that this verse can encourage me but i dont feel encouraged at all by my own thoughts.. however, i finally understood and was deeply impacted once again when Pastor preached about that verse last night..
"Concentration on God is of more value than personal holiness"
love God such that every other devotion seems like hatred in comparison..
it's a great revelation for me..

half marathon today.. ran 12km.. not bad i completed it running all the way and never walk.. i believe training in sispec has helped.. but army likes to waste our time.. we finish the run at around 9 plus, but we had to stay around and do nothing.. if only i could leave earlier, i would have gone for service.. oh.. wasted my money for cab again cause the cab went for a loop cause the roads are blocked.. but thank God that the taxi driver allowed me to pay just $20 because it exceeded by quite alot..haha

going to pop this week! let me go to the place You want me to be..

i was down, almost left, but You drew me back

You're always there even when i don't feel You

i was dry, but You watered my soul at the right time

Everything's gonna be alright

Thank You Jesus

2Timothy3:14-17
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
remembering the things you have learned from young (not just physically, spiritually too)
-Prayer
-Fasting
-Word of God
-Ministry
-Godly Fellowship
-Serving one another
-Reaching out to leaders and friends
foundation to move to another level of breakthrough and bringing them along..

In 2Kings,
Elisha was so hungry for God that when Elijah asked him to stay behind, he refused.. he knew about Sacrifice.. even so, as he seeks after God, eventually he gets double anointing of God..

service was great.. Rev A.R. Bernard is so powerful.. all his teachings are so deep.. nothing much today.. didnt go out.. going to book in again..

my life in sispec is actually quite interesting.. alot of funny things.. but not in the mood to blog bout that now.. sigh..

i'm wanna watch all the movies i have not watched..

feeling super down

sounds like i'm at fault again

2 scoldings at a time

i feel that whatever i have done is nothing

why is it like this? sorry guys..

Today is National Day! haha.. one day off for me.. booked out yday.. earned my whole day off (no need to book in at night) cause of gold ippt.. but so sad i'm stuck at home.. nothing to do.. it seems like no one is going out today or they have their own activities.. sigh.. should just book in tonight..

went out last night to catch disturbia, midnight show.. not a bad show but missed the front part.. went to stay over at weijian's place.. if not i'll be spending alot on cab fare again.. someone ask me out? haha..

speak to me the rhema word

bring me out of this wrong thought

draw me closer to You

i can't take this anymore, it's unhealthy

i don't want to leave......

Deliverance

this is my 4th night out.. i think i have been neglecting my bunk mates =X.. so i went out with them at jp just now to arcade..

anyway.. last week's service was very good.. i didnt respond to any altar call on saturday.. hx made a joke out of me.. saying that Rev Mike Connell should have called to pray for spirit of pride.. i think sometimes i may have pride in me.. maybe cause i'm in army? i don't know but i hope i don't have pride (as in the bad one).. i responded on sunday and i felt really great after i was being prayed for.. i was helping around and as i was helping, i could feel myself going to vomit also.. the presence is so tangible and all the spirits are like fleeing..

i feel that xt is really great.. she really cares alot for her members.. after ken was being prayed for once at the last altar call, i know it wasnt complete cause the person left praying halfway.. i think maybe he was afraid or something.. but anyway.. so xt asked ken to be prayed again.. ken refused.. xt wanted to ask wayne to pray for him cause she said he is one of the most powerful SOT students.. when she went over, ken ran away.. so wayne didnt manage to pray for him.. however.. i think xt felt strongly that ken needs to be prayed for.. and then the chance came when ken was on xt's left and wayne was on xt's right.. xt asked ken again whether he wants to be prayed for and he still refused so xt just say so be it.. i think ken was touched or guilty so after a while he agreed to be prayed for.. so wayne prayed for him.. it was a tough time.. i was happy for ken too as he was being prayed for.. i think xt really cares for ken and she was persistent.. if she didnt ask ken continuously, ken might not be cleansed.. to xt's members (though all of you won't be reading), be grateful to xt and be nice to her.. she's a good leader..

Thank You Jesus

for cleansing me

let me grow stronger in You

Guard my heart O Lord