everything's not going well..
burning more weekends..
but more than that..

heaviness of my head, my body, my heart

super tired.. so long haven had free time.. what's more i'm suppose to be sleeping.. haha.. tmr booking in morning to sleep also.. night duty.. so ya..
been so bad recently cause of one guy.. so double-faced.. super impatient, whether it's a small or big thing, first reaction is to scold or talk with a we-had-done-something-wrong tone.. always shouting to anyone.. overused power/authority.. he's got so much to learn just coming back after graduating from uni.. and yet he picks on people.. almost ran out of patience on him.. hmmm..

i need Your endurance
i need Your strength
i need Your patience
i need Your forgiving heart
i need Your love for people..

so tired.. so so tired.. that's all i can say bout the ops.. but thank God my area ic is someone not so strict.. haha.. so ya.. more weekends burnt coming up.. gonna miss service..

one touch from You is all it takes
strength and renewal in the Spirit
let me pull through this easily i pray..

just this morning.. my sis scolded my mum cause she complained that my sis ALWAYS never clear her hair in the toilet.. the word is always.. but she was pissed because it's not always.. sometimes my mum never think before she speaks and offend people.. and one little thing she must announce it to the whole world..
but then again, i felt bad.. cause few days ago i just scolded her also.. then felt God speaking to me, a soft answer turns away wrath.. and indeed we're not bearing a good testimony at home.. sometimes my mum do things without thinking of other's feelings.. but why cant i just tell her in a nicer way.. cause she wouldn't make it a point and would forget all about it.. and then hx's post came to my mind.. i was so touched.. almost wanted to cry.. God reminded me of all the little things she did for me..

1) she would wake up as early as 5am to prepare breakfast for me when i was schooling.
2) though i may complain about her food sometimes, but she still make breakfast for me.
3) she would wake me up though i set alarm and i would just shout i know cause i wanted to rest a little more.
4) whenever i'm sick (even till now), she would make some drink (dont know what) and feed me medicine though i may refused because it's so bitter..
5) she still handwash some of my clothes even when her hands are peeling and she told me that her hands are pain and numb.
6) she's still working to support the family even at 60 because she gave birth to me at the age of 42.
7) when my dad bought dinner for her, she would leave some for me when i'm not back home yet.
8) she gave me money when i dont have to spare even if that's her last few dollars.
9) she buys food for me when she sees me staying at home during weekends.
10) i told her i prefer milo with sugar and she would remember and make milo for me at night.
11) i hated cooked egg yolk and she tries not to make the yolk harden when she cooks for me.
12) she asked about me when she sees me at home when i'm rarely and not supposed to. cause i seldom talk at home. cant believe it?

and i was reminded of the things i didnt do for her.. mothers' day when my friend asked me what did i give to her.. her birthday.. complained when she washed my clothes till the colours fades and so on....... and i would regret if i never bring Christ to her in her lifetime..

continues praying for her..

玫瑰? 百合? 郁金香? 勿忘我? 紫罗兰? 你喜欢什么花呢? 哈! 不论你找到什么花, 最重要是花瓶要有能力装得住花, 加油! 淑莹

this is what she wrote for me in the book mark before she left.. it was just a joke but yet, she gave me a ... answer.. i don't know what word to use.. but it really touched my heart.. and the testimony that chun yew shared really blessed me.. so touched and happy that we actually made a difference in her life.. so gonna miss her around..

suddenly felt so guilty seeing my dad and mum at home..
don't know why but i was so pissed yday and shouted at them..
wants to clear all the misunderstandings..
pray that everything will be fine..
blame it on my bad temper yday due to a small problem

scolded her cause she washed my clothes(that i didnt wanna wash yet) that i hanged in the toilet.. actually i.. aiya.. explanation the next time.. treasure your mummies.. though they may do things that sometimes irritate us but.. think for them.. and my mum is 60..

hmm.. home super early.. super bored.. trying to watch conan.. but load super slow.. aiya.. cant find people to go watch movie with.. guess gotta go watch myself before they're gone..

another great service..
fighting warfare at home..
pray pray pray.. bind bind bind..

anyway.. 'mummy' 's tag so funny.. hahaha