it's so tiring reading my last few posts.. i myself also lazy to read when i see them.. forgot what i posted.. don't know why there are people trying to read it.. haha anyway..

not going to sunday service this week.. COS duty on sunday.. sigh..
ever since i've entered 4th SAB, i've been slacking for 7 weeks already.. next week also nothing much.. 2 days CCAC, wed to fri off.. oh ya.. this whole week i've CCAC, some course to train us with some medic's skills.. one of it is the IV, which is to inject the needle in one of the veins so that the drip can be attached.. the drip is for casualties with blood loss.. we're suppose to do it in pairs so that we'll inject each other.. i did it in one try, my friend's 1st one on me failed!! so i was being injected on both hands.. monday got to do another practice, then tuesday test!.. still have 2 more times.. 'a little' pain.. haha

this week i'd nights out on mon tues and thurs, fri book out.. practically i'm like a stay out personnel.. mon to wed, lectures whole day.. released at about 3 to 4 plus cause we did the lectures quite fast, some we had learnt in sispec.. lunch break is like 2.5 hours from 1130 to 1400.. oh ya.. yday's CCAC was cancelled too cause the medics all off.. we're supposed to have life run in the morning but change to games day.. so we woke up at 7am, skipped breakfast, games till 8 plus, went back bunk, then played cards till afternoon, skipped lunch, do abit of area cleaning, inspection(very slack one), changed civi and book out at 3 plus.. but anyway.. first 8 weeks so slack, next 8 weeks will be my RCC.. it's gonna be tough..

and oh.. last week's service was great.. very touched by the video..

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Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

sometimes i really wish i can read minds

can i know what are you thinking

help me to be more sensitive

on public road, you learn right turn, left turn and U-turn
on off-road, you'll learn something new, a new turn..
something so difficult to teach
and you don't want to be the chosen one..

everyday has been a tiring day! waking up at 0510.. been sleeping at 10 plus which is quite early.. never used to sleep so early haha..

riding a bike is very fun eh though alot of people say that it's quite dangerous.. true cause need to beware of potential dangers.. actually it's not that bad.. i've got to ride on public road already! clocked around 172km of distance.. alot of things to take note after we went on public road.. horning is fun but didnt get to used it cause most of us will tend to slow down when we see danger instead of horning.. but i almost ran over a group of students who dashed across in front of me.. trying to be funny la.. oh.. our public road route will pass by an entrance to the PIE.. if never change lane might get squeezed by other vehicles to PIE eh and L plates cannot drive in PIE.. quite funny la my instructor always say some trainees almost went holland village.. actually the instructors said alot of funny remarks.. my friend, after riding through one round of the public route 1, came back with a story, the boy who cried wolf.. what's the moral of the story.. off your signals.. think you guys don get it.. but it's quite funny la.. tmr don have to go cause i passed (and not passed away) my balancing circuit test on the 1st attempt!! just came back cause had night riding.. at night the traffic super heavy..but still fun la.. must learn how to change lane and forcing car to slow down for you.. hahaha.. around less than 2 weeks more only.. so fast ending already.. nearing the end of my booking out everyday.. sigh

you are right

i must grow more

substance of things hoped for

evidence of things unseen

i feel so left out with you guys.. i don't understand what are you all talking about.. things not shared with me.. maybe it's really ok for you not to ask me out the next time.. i really hate this kind of feeling..

upset, left out, lost

deep thoughts

sigh..

hmmm.. it has been a long time since i last blogged.. haha.. posted to new unit like one month ago.. few more months to become 3SG.. looking forward to pay increment.. hahaha

anyway.. bike course now.. quite slack.. everyday half day practical half day theory.. between practical and theory, there'll be a morning break and tea break.. meaning go canteen and eat or rest etc.. i think all of us are gonna grow fat.. the canteen only has one stall and the person selling is a malay.. malay food are more oily and stuffs.. haha..
got to wake up like 510 in the morning to take the train at 545 so i can reach kaki bukit in time to report at 715 in the morning.. vvvv tired eh.. ooh haha thank God there's someone who takes train with me in the morning from boon lay.. oh ya.. every morning there's this cedar girl on the train whom he thinks quite hot.. so every morning though tired, just looking forward to taking train.. hahaha..

my unit combine with other units who are taking the bike course also and divided into 2 teams, in which in each team there are 9 groups, and in reach group there are 3 person.. calculate how many people are taking the bike course.. hahaha.. so there are different instructors taking each group for the 9 groups only.. team A and B will rotate, e.g if A is doing practical and B doing theory in the morning, afternoon will swap over.. group 3(my group) and 6 train together.. thank God the instructors are quite funny.. quite lame sometimes and they never really scold us.. i see some instructors v irritating.. keep scolding then gave alot of pressure.. wah.. and i hate to stay back from 5 to 7 for extra trainings.. i must pass all the tests.. tmr there is a highway situational test.. i must PASS!

i finally manage to fix my rubic's cube... but the cube is spoilt after it has gone through the hands of ACOE.. the 2nd IC for the whole bike course.. argh.. haha.. somebody guess how much it is.. it's unbelievable..

missing out on things

need some encouragement

need some revelation

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,

But a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them.

Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent,

But who is able to stand before jealousy?

Open rebuke is better

Than love carefully concealed.

bye bye BSLC

finally pass out from BSLC.. 10 weeks, to be exact 67 days, are over in the blink of an eye.. the scene that we're gonna get separated seems touching.. some of us are going separate ways.. my bed buddy send me this,
67 days since the first day i met you all
67 days of my life with you
67 days of shit we went through
67 days of sweat and laughters
67th day has come and we might need to say goodbye
Memories of the 67 days will not be forgotten
Thanks for everything..
Take care whereve you go..
I was quite touched by his message even as I look back at all the things we'd done together.. 10 weeks is a short period..

today i'm super tired.. i haven slept at all since last night.. i'm officially out of BSLC, a corporal.. before we go for the passing out parade, we had to march 28km with our field packs and everything.. through the night from 8pm to 4am then go straight for parade still with our field packs on.. some of us almost fell asleep standing.. we didn't get to sleep at all cause after the parade we had to go back to our bunks to clear all our things.. i was reminded of our section again.. guess our bonds in sispec are stronger than in BMT.. the trainings we did together, the illegal things we did together, the good fire movement which made our sect com proud, the field camp we went through together, the battalion of ant bites on us at tp2, the fatigue, the nonsensical talk we had(though some came through).. though i know none of my bunk mates will read this but i just wanna say thanks for everything through the 10 weeks.. have fun in all your new vocations..

Falling

Find me in Your holiness
Lead me in Your righteousness
How I love You
Beautiful Savior
When I'm weak You make me strong
Bearing my cross I carry on
How I need You
Heavenly Father

Search my heart O Lord
You know my every thought
An open book to You
I place my all in Your hands

Falling at Your feet
As my whole world fades away
Falling at Your feet
Let my life be wholly thine
My life be wholly thine, Jesus

Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father, never let me go

this is such a great song..

Spiritual Concentration

went service yday cause today cannot make it.. it was a tremendous one.. it's like God speaking to me from point to point during the service.. a renewal of my spirit, soul, mind..
1) A question of Treasure
2) A question of Vision
3) A question of Devotion - what am i devoted to?
4) A question of Ambition
Worry means to let a tormenting thought strangle you..
i realise sometimes i seem to worry alot.. why worry? since every obstacle that comes our way requires divine permission from God..
anyway, army life hasnt been very tough, just that it's hard to pray and do daily devotion.. i admit that my devotion has not been strong.. i felt a sense of lost sometimes.. i think that i'm getting a little easily agitated by things.. sometimes i think of myself more than others.. when Pastor preaches, God just spoke to me.. i had vivid flashbacks in my mind at that time.. i know i'm slowly drawing away but thank God for my faith that draws me back.. through this period, i'm weak spiritually and Matthew6:33 keeps coming to my mind.. i know that this verse can encourage me but i dont feel encouraged at all by my own thoughts.. however, i finally understood and was deeply impacted once again when Pastor preached about that verse last night..
"Concentration on God is of more value than personal holiness"
love God such that every other devotion seems like hatred in comparison..
it's a great revelation for me..

half marathon today.. ran 12km.. not bad i completed it running all the way and never walk.. i believe training in sispec has helped.. but army likes to waste our time.. we finish the run at around 9 plus, but we had to stay around and do nothing.. if only i could leave earlier, i would have gone for service.. oh.. wasted my money for cab again cause the cab went for a loop cause the roads are blocked.. but thank God that the taxi driver allowed me to pay just $20 because it exceeded by quite alot..haha

going to pop this week! let me go to the place You want me to be..

i was down, almost left, but You drew me back

You're always there even when i don't feel You

i was dry, but You watered my soul at the right time

Everything's gonna be alright

Thank You Jesus