was reading ken's blog.. and was thinking bout something he said.. our meetings would not be special if we do it too often.. isn't it true.. people treasures things that are rare.. hard to get.. things that are still there or can be gotten easily are often not treasured as much.. hmm

sun left.. it's gonna be quite a while to see her again.. so touched by all her works.. even though it's not the 1st time watching her humanitarian works video, but i still almost teared and touched by what she did.. all the poor children.. really felt like being part of that.. saw some of the cch people in it.. it's so nice to be part of the works isnt it.. she's really a good example or the cultural mandate.. and also fulfilling the 2 pillars of her walk with God, loving God wholeheartedly, loving people fervently..

i was so sad.. i knew it to be a joke but then.. it just make things more awkward? though they laughed but argh.. joke once twice okay.. but always.. sigh.. it makes me feel so awkward now to even face or talk to them.. hmm..
i think many people do not know me well or knew me to be a wrong person..
i am not that extrovert, i tried to be.. i am really a shy person but i tried to make myself more thick skinned for the Lord.. and it turns out i have to be thick skinned for many circumstances.. i usually keep things to myself, maybe except to jianting.. sometimes i feel so lonely by myself, at home, in my room.. i love to pray.. God makes me feel that there's still someone always for me.. i cry many times in my room praying, kneeing before Him.. i think i'm a good actor in covering my heartfelt emotions.. often im down but i'll still show my happy side to people.. my family is not a perfect family.. seen many cases with people having single parent, but me having both parents have my own family problems.. i hate to say it but money is a big problem.. I wanna leave all my Old Sins, my Old Defeats, my Old Conflicts and my Old Victories in 2008 behind..

*prays* God help me.. help me enter the new year being a new, strong young man